In everyday life, we come across a lot of different problems. Whether we accept it or not, but problems are an integral part of our lives, and play a major role in the kind of person we develop into. When dealt with a problem, we primarily see two kinds of mindsets.

The first one, where we focus on the problem, complaining about why the problem came up in first place. We tend to ignore the problem, expecting it to go away. But the problem continues to build up in the background, until we are finally forced to deal with it. Such a mindset is termed as problem-oriented mindset.

On the other hand, there is this solution-oriented mindset, where we think about the potential solutions to the problem, without lamenting on the situation. With such a mindset, we don't get overwhelmed by the size of the problem but find ways to break the problem into smaller parts, solve them individually, and finally connect the dots. Such a mindset makes us feel empowered, and we feel motivated in solving the problems.

Here are a few ways using which we can develop a solution-oriented mindset.

Don't ignore the problem. People with problem-oriented mindset tend to ignore the problem. They procrastinate, thinking the problem would go away by itself at some point. With such a mindset, people don't even try to come up with a solution, neither wants to be involved in developing a solution.

On the contrary, a solution-oriented mindset accepts the existence of the problem, and instead of trying to make the problem go away on its own, takes action towards solving the problem. They take the responsibility of solving the problem, without worrying too much about its origin.

Understand the actual problem. A problem-oriented mindset tends to react to what they think the problem is. Such people don’t try to get into the details of the problem, don't ask questions, and thus at times fail to understand the actual problem. As soon as a problem is presented to them, their mind starts to think about the obvious solutions. This behavior arises because their motivation tends to be of getting rid of the problem, and not really solving for it.

On the other hand, a solution-oriented person would not think about the solution right away. Instead they would give their full attention in understanding the problem first, asking necessary questions, before diving into problem solving. They tend to understand the outcome first.

As an example, in software world, suppose you have an end user using your application. Typically, there are multiple components involved in making the application work. When a user complains about a problem, a developer with a problem-oriented mindset would try to relate the problem to the faulty component, which might take some time to fix depending on the system's complexity. A solution-oriented mindset on the other hand would understand the problem from user's standpoint, because that's where the actual problem lies. That would help them in coming up with a solution that could fix the problem for the user, without necessarily fixing or finding the root cause as a first step.

Don't get overwhelmed by the complexity of the problem. A person with problem-oriented mindset could get lost into the details and complexity of the problem, getting overwhelmed with it. They worry too much about how hard a problem is, or how long it could take to solve it. They try to think of ways to work around the problem, without taking even the first step in trying to solve for it. Also, in worrying too much about the size of the problem, we forget to hear and understand the problem clearly, and get lost in these thoughts.

A solution-oriented mindset treats simple and complex problems alike. If they come across a complex problem, they tend to break it into smaller problems, and solve for them individually. They prioritize the smaller problems, and finally connect the dots. They believe that someone somewhere is already solving this problem, so why can't they solve it.

Don't feel pressurized due to time constraint. A problem-oriented mindset tends to feel pressurized with time they have to solve the problem. A lot of times, they even give up without even trying, thinking they would not make it anyways.

A solution-oriented mindset, on the other hand, uses time constraints to their advantage. With a time-bound problem, they know how much time should be spent in analysis and brain-storming, before finalizing the approach. It also helps in prioritizing the different steps involved and helps them take a methodical approach towards solving the problem.

Look for all possible approaches. A problem-oriented mindset approaches a problem in trying to get rid of the problem quickly. A lot of times, they would go ahead with the first approach they could think of, rather than thinking of the best solution possible.

A solution-oriented mindset looks for all possible approaches. They believe that the final solution might not be the direct solution to the problem to begin with. This is because, the more we get into the details of the problem, the more we understand about the existence of the problem. This enables them to look at the broader picture and analyze all possible solutions.

Envision the solved state of the problem. A solution-oriented mindset envisions the solved state of the problem. This helps them to work backwards from the solution state and come up with potential solutions.

Make use of drawings. This is a very prevalent methodology in software world, that solution-oriented people adapt to, while solving for a problem. The idea is to draw all entities involved in the problem, connect them based on their relation to one another to better understand the problem. Drawings like this enables them to easily visualize potential solutions and compare them to one another.

Think of problems not as roadblocks, but as opportunities to learn and grow. Develop a thought process where even though you can't solve the problem, do whatever you can do best in the given situation. It's always better than not trying at all.

Speaking about failures, we all think about the instances where we failed to achieve something. Instances where we tried but couldn't get the success. While trying something out, we tend to think either we will succeed, or we will fail.

But what we don't realize, people whom we see as successful, failed multiple times before making it through. And, they failed even more times than the ones who are unsuccessful. So, why do we think of failure as the opposite of success? This is not because of failure itself, but our fear of failure.

The difference between people who are successful versus those who just make it by, is their perception of failure. Successful people believe that failure is just one of the stepping stone to achieve success. They understand that they will come across a lot of failures, and it's simply the part of the process. They take learnings from these failures, and start trying again. The point at which people stop trying after seeing few failures, is when it becomes a roadblock to success.

Every now and then, we hear about success stories of people around us. People who made it big, be it in the field of science, sports or politics. We get to hear about what they achieved and how talented they are. We are mostly aware of their days of glory, and not so much of the time before they were "called" successful. We talk about the attempt that made them successful, but don't care about how many times they failed before. What we fail to realize it's their persistent efforts, and the "not giving up" attitude, that got them here.

When people say they are afraid that they won't succeed, it's not the fear of failure, but the fear of being judged by others. The fear of rejection, loss of dignity, or simply being perceived as not being good enough. Such people tend to say it before even trying, in order to lower the expectations. And with such fear in mind, they fail to even take the first step.

Why does this happen? This happens because of what we perceive as being successful. Success today is getting the recognition from others. Meeting the standards set by our society. This is seen from the time we start learning, when in exams we need to get a minimum passing mark, or we will be called a failure. And, even if the person manages to pass the exam in the next attempt, they are still forever tagged with this failure.

To overcome the fear of failure, we need to change how we perceive success. Success shouldn't be treated as a destination but perceived as a journey. Passing an exam is good but learning from mistakes and being persistent is also worth celebrating. When people let their failure get better of them is when they truly fail themselves.

Also, the idea is not to keep failing blindly until you reach your goal. But, take learnings from those failures, and understand why you failed in first place. It could be due to lack of experience or you didn't try hard enough. In the end, there is always a take away from the failures we face, which we should use to improve our next attempt.

All leaders in the organizations expect their employees to give one-hundred percent in achieving the organizational goals. Usually, they would set the goals for the organization, break-down those goals based on each employee's role and responsibilities, and come up with individual goals.

While this helps in coming up with relevant goals for each of the employees, from the perspective of growing the organization and achieving greater success, doing it without considering how the goals would help the employee grow, could result in lack of motivation amongst employees.

Empathetic leaders take into consideration their employee's individual sense of purpose, so they can align it with the organizational goals for the mutual benefit of both.

What is Empathy?

In simple words, empathy is the ability to put oneself in the shoes of another person, and understanding their perspective. With empathy, one can connect with others and relate to them, thereby building a strong relationship, without which the relationship is mostly superficial. An empathetic person is a good listener, who doesn't judge others based on what they share.

Importance of Empathy in Leadership

Empathy is critical in becoming an effective leader. With empathy, leaders are able to connect well with their employees, thereby building trust with them. Empathy enables leaders in understanding the needs of an employee, and thus they are able to provide the opportunities for them to grow and succeed. When employees know that the leader is aware of their feelings, they show faith in their decisions.

On the other hand, when leaders lack empathy, they are seen more as a manager rather than a leader. Lack of empathy shows up when a leader expects the employees to think the same way as they do. For example, a leader puts in long working hours, and expects the same for their employees to do, even though the working situations are very different for each of them.

Employees find empathetic leaders as approachable, and are able to openly share their concerns with them. Empathetic leaders listen to their employees, makes them comfortable. This helps in building up a very open culture in the organization, and the employees feel valued.

Empathetic leaders are able to understand the strength and weakness of their employees, and accordingly provide them with opportunities that would help them grow and succeed. When leaders don't understand the capability of their employees, it may result in dissatisfaction amongst employees, and they feel demotivated. This in turn impacts the growth of an organization, as the employees become less productive.

On the same lines, empathetic leaders are able to understand the reason of poor performance of their employees, and thus are able to take necessary actions to nurture an environment, where employees are not scared of failing. This also enables employees to be innovative at work, because they know they have a leader who believes in them.

How to Develop Empathy?

Be a good listener. The first and foremost method of developing empathy is by being a good listener. As a leader, make sure you listen to your employees, without judging them. You should put all your personal motives aside, and just be there and listen to them. Give your full attention to your employees and don't get distracted by phone calls or texts.

Consider employee's growth while defining goals. When defining goals for your employees, understand how those goals would also help the employee achieve personal growth and success. Try to understand what motivation, employee can find while working towards achieving those goals. While giving them new assignments, try to gauge if they are excited about it or they are taking it as just another work item. While it's not always possible to give what your employee needs, it's important to make them understand why you chose them for this assignment, and help them see the growth opportunity.

Conduct regular one-on-one meetings with your employees. More often than not, leaders use such meetings to give feedback to their employees on where they lack and what they should do to improve. While this is important, it's also important to take feedback from employees on how you are performing as a leader for them. This again somewhere ties to the trait of being a good listener, but giving them a platform to share their needs and concerns makes sure you get a regular feedback. At times, we have employees who don't talk much, and they don't reach out by themselves, even if there's something troubling them. One-on-one meetings comes handy in such situations, where you can encourage them to speak and share their feelings with you.

Reach out to your employees. Last, but not the least, reach out to your employees and talk to them about their personal lives. Show interest in their hobbies, ask them what they do on weekends, talk about their families. This helps in building a strong relationship, and helps your employees open up to you. While doing this, it helps to share your personal life experiences with them too, to get the conversation going. Knowing your employees at personal level helps you further understand their personal situations and challenges.

Developing empathy doesn't happen all at once. It's like any other skill. The more you practice, the better you become at it.

Do you feel like putting in a lot of effort, and yet unable to make any progress? By the time you finish the work at hand, another high priority task shows up, that needs your immediate attention? When you begin, everything seems to be on track, but somehow you consistently miss the deadline? If so, then the art of prioritization can help you out.

In simple words, prioritization is a technique, which helps you rank the items in your to-do list, in the order of their relative importance and urgency. Higher the urgency, higher the priority.

But, what if all the items in your list are equally important? That's where the art of prioritization becomes useful. The idea is to combine prioritization with tools and techniques, that can help you become more effective in achieving your goals.

Why Prioritization is Important?

Context switching is one of the main productivity killers. Research has shown that although the cost of context switching might seem small, but when done repeatedly, can have a long-term compounding impact on our focus. Prioritization can help you focus on one task at a time, and thereby reduce the occurrences of context switching. Let me explain with an example.

I was working on an important presentation, for an upcoming event. I worked for hours and finished up the presentation. While I was drafting an email to share the presentation with my management, a colleague reached out to me, needing my help with a critical problem. Considering the criticality, I left my email there and started helping them out. After spending an hour with them, we were able to solve the problem. I came back to my desk, completed and sent the email, and left for home. It felt good on completing the presentation, and at the same time helping out my colleague. Next day when I woke up, I was surprised to see the reply on my email. It said, "You forgot to attach the presentation". All the hard work put in to finish the presentation on time went in vain.

Now, it might seem that context switching in this case was just a coincidence, and I would have forgotten to send the presentation in any case. Even if that's true, what we should try to understand is, context switching helped increase the chance of this happening. Most of the times, that's all it takes to lose focus. And the result? A delay of few minutes resulted in lost productivity for not just me, but for the management as well, who had planned their day assuming they would receive the presentation the same day.

Learning the Art of Prioritization

You must be wondering why I am referring to prioritization as an art. Prioritization may seem pretty straight forward, if you think only from the perspective of scheduling your tasks in the order of criticality. While that may work in some cases, it cannot guarantee optimal utilization of your time and achieving effective results. When combined with patience, analysis and good judgement, you turn prioritization into an art, and thereby make the most out of it.

Below are a few techniques I have been using to achieve effective prioritization.

Maintaining a To-Do List

This had to be the first one in the list, right? Although it may seem quite obvious, but I know only a few people actually go about maintaining such a list. More often than not, we try to maintain the list in our mind. There isn't any problem in doing that, just that it's an additional thing our mind has to worry about, apart from obviously completing the task at hand.

I remember my school teacher once telling the class that while reading a book, never try to see how many pages the book has. If you do, you will feel there's a long way to go, and you will never be able to finish the book. Instead just keep reading, page by page.

Similarly, if you maintain the To-Do list in mind, it keeps reminding you there's a long way to go and you tend to lose focus under that pressure. Instead, simply maintain a list on your notebook, or your mobile phone, or your laptop. Keep adding new tasks to the list as they come, and continue focusing on your task at hand. I personally use Notion for my To-Do list.

Time Blocking

Okay, so you have your list of tasks for today, in the order of priority. You start working on the first task, and before you realize, the day is about to end before you could go to your next task. Sounds familiar? Sure, it does. And when that happens, we start to think, "Where did all my time go?".

Parkinson's law says, "Work expands, so as to fill the time available for its completion". So, what does that mean? It means, if for a 1-hour task you give yourself 1 day, you will actually end up taking a 1 day for it to complete. This is where time blocking technique comes to the rescue.

Time blocking means allocating a fixed time period for each of your planned tasks. This helps in two ways. First, by allocating time of each task, you would know your goal for that day. Second, you would keep a check on how much time you should be spending on a task, as otherwise it can impact your remaining tasks for the day. Once the time period elapses, you can review the task status, and if it's still not complete, you can decide whether to continue working on the current task or move on to the next task. It's like maintaining small checkpoints for the day to review the progress.

This technique is also helpful in managing the unknowns. A lot of times we come across tasks for which we don't know the completion time up front. If we don't decide a time block for such tasks, we could very well go on working on them, thereby ignoring other important tasks. Time blocking in such case gives us an opportunity to review our approach towards solving the task.

Big vs Small Tasks

In the world of computer programming, there are numerous scheduling algorithms. Some works on first come first serve basis, whereas some tend to process critical tasks first, irrespective of the task duration. In real life also, we come across situations where we have a critical task which is time consuming, whereas there's another not so important task, which is of shorter duration.

What I have learnt is, a single approach cannot work in prioritizing such tasks. If you prioritize the critical task first, chances are, you may not be able to start on the other tasks. Whereas, if you pick the smaller task, it may delay the critical task. Here, apart from time blocks, the deadline for each task also becomes important.

Suppose, the deadline for the smaller task is midday, whereas the deadline for the critical and longer duration task is next day. If you start on the critical task, and there is a chance you might not be able to finish it before smaller task's deadline, then it would make sense to prioritize smaller task first so as to meet the deadline. This also makes sure you will get enough time to finish the critical task before the deadline.

On the other hand, if the deadline for both the tasks is same, then it might be a good idea to start on the critical task first, so as to get it out of the way early. Once done, you can then freely focus on the easier task.

Not Jumping Into the Act

Many a times, when a critical ad hoc task comes in, we tend to take it up right away, leaving the task at hand. This has the ability to disrupt our plan for that day, and gives us a feeling of not being able to achieve anything.

In such instances, what we need to do is take a step back and add it to our To-Do list, just like any other task. We should also try to get an answer on what is the deadline for this task. Should this be completed as soon as possible, or we have a time window for it? We shouldn't be assuming the deadline, even though the task is critical. Additionally, it's also important to understand the impact of this new task on our existing planned tasks, and judge whether the criticality is high enough that we can bear the impact. Only when we have answers to these questions, we should entertain such task.

When faced with difficulties, do you feel you have control over the outcome and are fully responsible for the end result? Or, you feel that external factors are involved, over which you don't have any control, and thus you cannot influence the outcome? Depending on the thought process, you either have an internal or external locus of control. Let me explain with an example.

A software firm was working on an important client delivery. They were supposed to roll out a new app feature to the customer. The timelines were tight, but they were confident to get this through on time. The team worked very hard, and everything seemed to be going as per the plan.

With three days to go, they had an internal demo with the management, to walk through the feature details. During the demo, it came out that they had missed developing a very critical piece, and now there was no way to deliver the complete feature within stipulated time. The whole team was disappointed that even after putting so much effort, they had failed. As a usual practice, the team gathered to retrospect on what went wrong.

There were multiple points raised to understand the reason of this failure. To quote a few -

• Developers - Analysts should have provided the requirements clearly.
• Analysts - The development team should have gone through the requirements properly, and reached out if something wasn't clear.
• Project Manager - Demo should have been scheduled early, so that the team would have received the feedback on time.

What do you notice here? No one took the responsibility of the failure. This behavior is what is referred to as having an external locus of control. Everyone was busy blaming the external factors for the failure.

Now, let us rephrase above statements from the outlook of a person having an internal locus of control.

• Developers - We should have asked for the clarification from the analysts, as we knew requirements aren't clear.
• Analysts - We should have checked with the developers if they have understood the requirement or not.
• Project Manager - I should have scheduled the demo earlier, so as to get an early feedback.

See the difference? With this outlook, everyone showed that they had control over the outcome, and took responsibility for it. This refers to having an internal locus of control.

So how do we define this concept of locus of control? 

Locus of control is a psychological concept, which defines the degree to which people believe they have control over the situations and outcomes of the events happening in their lives, as opposed to external factors.

How does having an internal versus external locus of control affects us? 

People having internal locus of control tend to analyze and take appropriate actions to set things right, when faced with problems. They are driven individuals. They feel confident when faced with challenges. On the other hand, those with external locus of control would appear to be complaining about outside factors being the cause of their shortcomings. They lack confidence, as they don't believe they can change the situation with their efforts.

Let's see some more examples.

Although, having an internal locus of control is a good thing in most of the cases, but it has its drawbacks too. Such people at times can become highly self-critical, resulting in a state of anxiety and depression. It's important to find the right balance, and not to beat yourself up over the failures. 

The idea is to develop a thought process, where you don't go by your instincts, but take a step back and analyze the situation. Think of the options you have, and figure out if there is something you can do to influence the situation or not.

At work, more often than not, we end up in situations where we need help or guidance from fellow workers. It could be help in making a presentation, in writing a piece of code or as simple as reviewing an email. At times, we get what we need and at others, we don't. Many a times we hesitate, thinking it would make us appear incapable, someone who can't get their work done on their own.

Let's talk about the times when we don't get the help we need. There could be various reasons for that. It could be that we couldn't ask for help in the first place, or the person wants to help, but helping us would mean delaying their own work.

Here, I have noted down 3 simple tricks for you, that would make asking for help a lot easier.

Do Your Homework

When you are stuck with some problem, how do you reach out to others for help? A very common way would be to ask, "Hey, could you help me solve this problem?". Simple as that. 

Now, let's think from the perspective of the person helping you. All they know is you have a problem, and need their help to solve it. The first thought that would come to their mind is, "I need to understand the problem first, do my research and then provide a solution. This is going to take time". Another possible thought that could come is, "Why don't they solve it on their own? I can't spoon feed them every time.".

Suppose, if we change our ask to - "Hey, I am stuck with this problem for sometime now. I have tried this solution, but no results. I have searched for other possible solutions as well, and this is what I could find. Could you guide me if I'm on the right track, and what else I could look at?". 

Notice the difference? Before reaching out for help, we did our homework, and provided them with enough information, so they don't have to start from ground zero. Also, we showed that it's not like we didn't put any effort. We tried whatever we could, and after exhausting all our options, we have reached out to them. Lastly, we didn't ask for a solution, but guidance. This is crucial, as we don't want to be spoon fed, and would like to solve the problem on our own.

When people see that we are not going to them with a blanket problem, but with possible solutions as well, they are more likely to help.

Show Gratitude

We all have a go-to person in our lives, whom we keep bugging with our queries. It could be because we feel comfortable reaching out to them, or they are know-it-all types, who has an answer for every problem.

At times we think, "Are they getting bothered with our repeated requests?". They might very well be, and we should not take them for granted. So, to avoid being in a situation, where they might actually get tired helping you, a simple solution is to show gratitude. 

Let them know how helpful they were in solving your problem. Instead of just saying "Thank you", explain them how crucial their help was, and what it would have been otherwise if they hadn't helped. 

There is no better feeling than to realize the difference we made in other person's life, by simply helping them out.

Give As Much As You Take

The last, and probably the most important trick is, give as much as you take. Help and guidance is not a one-way street. The willingness of others helping you, largely depends on your reputation of helping others.

There is a popular saying "Do as you would be done by". Like in many other cases, this is applicable here as well. Develop a habit of assisting others, even if it would mean taking out extra time for them. Such a behavior never goes unnoticed. It's a natural tendency for an individual to help someone they have received help from in past.

Additionally, when you regularly help others, you automatically develop the self-confidence to ask for help, without thinking if it would make you feel incapable. By helping others, you understand that how normal it is to ask for help and guidance, and if you are helping them, they would help you too.

This needs to be done with consistency though. Something you did long back won't have the same impact in contrast to what you would do consistently.